Here Nor There

Life is NOW

2010-07-21T14:52:00.004-04:00

So I'm currently reading Eat,Pray,Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I am realizing you can't live your life in regret or guilt...you just can't.
You only get one chance at this thing. And I'm so scared that I'll be 60 and I'll come to the realization that I didn't do everything I wanted to because of certain circumstances.
I'm 23 now. I know to some people that's young, but to ME it's almost a quarter of a century OLD! Nearly a third of my life is OVER! .... I know, I know, how MORBID of me...but sometimes that's how I think.
And I believe that the only way for me to stop thinking like this is start really living my life...
But, of course, there's a difference in TYPING and DOING!
Just Do It. Nike had it right the first time :)

Air Force Musings

2010-04-07T22:20:00.002-04:00

I have completely forgotten about my little ole bloggeroo here! I stumbled upon it when I was adding new quotes to my Facebook. If only I could enter a blog as much as I got on "the face" I'd have a novel or two by now!

Anyway, I'm seriously thinking about joining the air force. I need direction and leadership skills ... oh and the sheer excitement from learning something new and GOING somewhere new! Everytime I think about it I start dreaming of the life I could have - how much better it would be.

Right now at work I am being considered for a supervisor position over one of the cafeterias. I could get a whole DOLLA raise! You would think someone presented with such an opportunity would be excited, but I'm not. I will take the job, of course. It's more money. However, it's just reeling me further and further into the food service world. I'm so tired of it. It's the same stuff every single day.

I am not the type of person who can do this for the rest of my life. I need to constantly be learning something or I feel like I'm wasting away.

And the air force would be the perfect choice. There are so many benefits and opportunities that come with joining.

All I need to do is finish my last credit for school and I'm DONE! I can leave Knoxville and start somewhere fresh! AND make 3x the money I'm making now.

I just wouldn't know what to do with it! Ha. Who am I kidding...yes I would.

Vitamin D

2009-10-08T15:09:00.002-04:00

You never realize how you've taken beautiful fall days for granted in the past until you are locked inside at work for 8 hours-only seeing the light of day for a whole thirty minutes.

I miss my favorite season.

It's on.

2009-09-20T21:59:00.003-04:00

In a sad attempt to have something cool and exciting brought to my banal life, I have entered every Travel Channel sweepstakes I could.

One would give me the opportunity to travel to Germany. This would make my life if I won this trip. I've entered the competition everyday for three days so far. I'm so pathetic, yet optimistic.

Next, I entered a chance to have a buddy and myself travel to Washington D.C. for a couple of days and attend the Travel Channel academy. It's a super expensive four-day lesson on techniques for video and editing as a travel journalist - only THE best job anyone could ever have. To pay for the trip alone it would cost a couple thousand, but I could attend FO FREE!

There was another sweepstakes, but I don't think I have the time, money or energy to deck my apartment out in the craziest, flashiest Christmas lights...as MUCH as David and I ADORE the season...

Btw, we've already started listening to Christmas music. It's amazing.

Oh, this is sad

2009-09-08T22:16:00.003-04:00

I worked today in greasy chicken lair for 8 hours.

I went to class for an hour.

I came home and I cleaned my car.

I cleaned my car with a Halloween bucket and a dirty dish rag in the parking lot of our apartment.

And the pathetic thing was - the act of hand-washing my car was the most exciting thing that happened to me all day.

I was genuinely very happy I did that today.

What has my life become?

Cruel World

2009-07-31T18:51:00.003-04:00

Last week I FINALLY made it to a temp agency.
My poor Daddy has been telling me to do this for months.
They set me up immediately with a call center interview.
It was some mass hiring event and they needed a lot of new people and I would've started the following week!
Well, I go to the interview and I pretty much bomb it. I was so nervous.
It was one of those interviews where they ask you to dig back into the crevices of your work memory and try to dig out instances when you were faced with an ethical dilemma. Or, explain a time when you were proud of your work and maybe a time when you weren't so proud. If there was something you needed to tell me...how would you make sure I know what you are really trying to say?
Oh goodness.
Well, as usual, I get all teary-eyed...I don't know why...it happens everytime. My voice was cracking all over the place (and let me remind you this is a call center I was applying to - phone voices are a MUST).
I get back home and a few hours later I get a call from the temp lady saying I got the job and I need to go in for fingerprinting the following day.
I was so happy! Finally! A job out of the food industry! My own cubicle! I can wear nice clothes! I get PAID more!
Just as my ecstasy was at it's peak and I had already called home to tell my family I'm finally doing something, temp lady calls back.
She made a mistake.
She read the rating sheet incorrectly and I actually did NOT get the job.
Great.
What a cruel, cruel world.
Back to square one.
I need to leave Knoxville.
I'm going insane.

It's like one of those Infinity pools...

2009-07-08T00:10:00.001-04:00

I feel like I'm just swimming and swimming.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Same thing over and over, but getting nowhere.
I feel like I'm in a rut.
And I can't get out.
It's really quite depressing.
And I know how I could reach the end of the pool.
I need a different job - first of all.
Then, I need to start going after what I really want to do.
And I need to really hone in on what that is.
I need a life coach.
That'd be perfect right now.
That's all.

I'm a little more calm now

2009-06-26T16:07:00.004-04:00

I would like to apologize for the last entry. I was very frustrated - obviously.

But I spoke with the head of student publications on Monday. I was so scared she would eat me alive and then spit me out and rip my practicum papers to tiny confetti pieces and then sprinkle them on precious cupcakes for my editor to eat.

But, of course, this did not happen.

She was very understanding and amiable about the whole situation. She did stress that I need to get my stories in on time because it puts a strain on the whole team. And I understand that. Like I said, it comes with the job. And she understands that I work about 30 hours a week and sometimes I just can't take certain stories. But after our talk, I felt like I really wanted to prove to The Beacon that I was making improvements and trying to be a decent journalist.

So that is my goal. Hooray. I have a story tomorrow, but there is no calling for sources. I'll be attending an architect exhibition. So I'll just chit chat with some students and possibly faculty. And in efforts to make improvements I want to get the story done that day and turn it in.

I'm also taking a lot of pictures this weekend. Maybe I'll have a few I can post. Sorry for the lack of images. I can't believe I'm trying to do photojournalism and I don't even post pictures with every post.

I'll work all my kinks out eventually. Actually, no. No I probably won't. Because that's how life is. Full of kinks. Well, it definitely keeps things interesting for me.

With my next post I'll tell you all about how I want to go back to school. WHOA. Get excited.

Throw me a life jacket!

2009-06-22T11:12:00.005-04:00

I feel like I'm drowning in life.

Again.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was having mild anxiety attacks.

Again.

If I mess up on ONE thing - my mind spirals out of control and I start to dwell on EVERYTHING that's going wrong with my life.

I think I seriously need anxiety medication sometimes.

I got my article done...not on Friday though. I was late. Which is NEVER good in journalism. That's part of the job - meeting deadlines. And I don't know how they do it. I don't. Because I tried to get people to contact me back. It's nearly impossible sometimes!

I hate it.

The publications department is threatening to not give me my practicum credit if I don't make deadline.

Okay FIRST of all, I missed deadline ONCE. And yes, yes. It's part of my job and I HAVE to make deadline, but it was out of my control! Are they seriously implying that they've made every single deadline THEY were given???

SECONDLY, I didn't want to base my practicum credit on being a news reporter. I came in with the intentions of being a photojournalist. And somehow, I got pushed into being practically the ONLY newswriter they have! So now I'm doing both (but more writing than anything). I think I'm earning my keep just fine, thank you. I'm sure some students have earned their credits by simply putting a story or a photo in every issue. I've had BOTH. I've produced more than one thing per issue. I just don't see the justice in them threatening my practicum credit.

I'm angry.

And freaking out about life.

What's new?

Now I must report to the newsroom and be critiqued on my most recent atrocity.

I mean...I'm no Carrie Bradshaw

2009-06-18T01:43:00.004-04:00

So, I'm working with the school newspaper, The Daily Beacon, now. It's actually for course credit. Which puts a huge burden on my back to produce something every issue and earn my hours.

I successfully did so for the first three issues - only one of those stories being any close to decent - but then I sort of...stopped. I've skipped the past two issues. No good. The director of student publications will not like that at all. I basically swore up and down that if she let me come on as a senior trying to get the Beacon for my practicum, I would work hard and produce something for every issue.

And I've already fallen off my wagon. Gah. I'm not going to make it anywhere in this world!

I'm currently trying to finish a story for Friday's paper. It's due before noon tomorrow and I still have to get another source. Blarg. Means I'm going to have to ring some folks' ears off in efforts to get a comment or 12.

All I want to do is take pictures, but I'm writing more than anything. Which, I suppose is good - especially now when jobs of ANY sort in journalism are scarce. But I think I've had three pics in the paper. All to go with my stories, WHICH were all the lead stories - "above the fold" if you want to get sassy. But this is only because my article was basically the only news story produced by Beacon staff. Yeah. I am like one of two news writers.

Anywho. What else? No dice (or thongs?) with VS. They strung me along for about two weeks always saying they just needed to contact my references and then they would call me back. I keep in contact with my references, and VS never called. Why could they not just tell me I was not going to get the job? Spencer's did the very same thing to David.

Needless to say, our dreams of fabulous retail life were CRUSHED like Prince's velvet ensambles.

We ate lots of Ramen the following days. This is a lie. It was mac-n-cheese.

Well, I have to get up early tomorrow. I have a GLORIOUSLY long day ahead - one that will hopefully end with me sweating my ass off on the dirty floor of an old victorian house to the beat of Kenny Loggins's "Footloose." Ahhhhh I love some Sassy Ann's.

Sleep Well world.

I am a journalist...I guess.

2009-05-29T17:32:00.006-04:00

Well, I know it has been a while, but my life has been a bit crazy recently.
Of course, I graduated May 7th, 2009...well...I WALKED. I have one more class and my practicum this summer and THEN I'm done.
I worked non-stop for the two weeks following my graduation. Making the HUGE mistake of not searching for another job while working. Because now I am out of work and looking for a new job in this AWESOME job market. Looks like my best bet so far is Victoria's Secret. Even though it is seriously taking them like 3 weeks to interview and do reference checks and whatnot. In the meantime, no one else is hiring or wanting my work.
Hopefully next week I can start doing something.

But what I'm SUPER excited about is my practicum with The Daily Beacon. The Beacon is UT's student-run newspaper. I am primarily a photojournalist, but it appears that I'll be doing a lot of news writing as well, seeing as they have like NO ONE to do it! So I figured I would step up and get a bit more experience under my stylish belt. I got my very first assignment and I've started working on it already. I even called the two sources just to get the scariest part out of the way. Too bad both failed to answer their phones. Gotta worry about the interviews another day.

Anyway. I'm tired of sitting at this computer. Here's a few pictures:

David's niece looking exceptionally cute playing in a puddle.

Cool shot of Bella. Looks professional, right?

Neat shot I took of my friend, Amanda, after her graduation.

Back to square one

2009-04-24T09:33:00.002-04:00

So I didn't get the practicum with Knoxnews. Apparently they thought I was there for a full-blown paid internship and they don't do practicums over the summer. So...

I have to start looking somewhere else. I don't want to! I'm going to end up with some company where my "job" is to get coffee and file papers or something.

I'm not super excited about all aspects of journalism but I'd much rather do SOMETHING than nothing for 120 hours of my life!

Graduation day is in 11 days. Wow. All I know for sure at this moment in my life is that I have an editing class this summer. That's it.

And, of course, I'm having anxiety issues again. Heart rate going through the roof when I think about my future.

I don't know why I stress. I have my WHOLE LIFE to make something of myself. I just feel so behind when I see other go-getter journalism majors getting out there and doing what they love. They are the ones that are going to get hired instantly.

But I don't think that's me. I think that's why I'm not doing what they do. It's not what I want to do - at least not right now.

I'll eventually find MY job. But why get there so fast? Why the rush? I should enjoy life and ALL it has to offer.

I think by doing a variety of odd things and just moving about will provide me with more character. I don't feel like being pinned down right now, I guess. At least, not in the journalism world.

I love photography and I could take pictures all day, but what happens when I push it? When will too much be enough and I start to not appreciate the joys of photography? I don't want to get burned out on it.

Maybe it's some of these things. Maybe it's all of them. And then, maybe I'm just being a lazy 22 year old - and that's why I don't exactly know where I'm going in life.

But either way, I'll find that career.

Stress and anxiety are no fun.

The waving game

2009-04-18T22:16:00.002-04:00

Tonight was amazing.

I waved to people and they waved back...well a lot of them did.

See, my roommate Jessica and I decided to take advantage of the wonderful, balmy evening and take a night walk around campus. It was nice strolling around to The Hill side of campus. I haven't been there in about a year. So I figured I needed to revisit the scene - being a senior and all. I'm going to miss it.

Jessica mentioned how she sometimes sees students hauling ass up a steep grass hill to class....

So we decided to rampage our way through the darkness. First we ran down. Which was good because we got to assess all the holes and impaling-capable objects before running over them.

We got very tired very quickly.

A little while later we were on a bridge that crosses Cumberland Ave (for all you folks not from Knoxville - it's a busy street running through campus), and we decided to stop and watch the cars. Then we had the BEST IDEA EVER!

We decided to wave at the cars as they drove under us.

It was the most amazing feeling when random people wave back. You don't know until you try it. But it makes you happy. Seriously. We got so excited when these travelers would take the time and wave. A few even honked their horns.

We sat there waving at the passing cars for about five minutes. It was so fun.

So what I'm trying to say is, maybe everyone should just take a little time to wave at strangers - they may not wave back, but if they do - it'll automatically put a smile on your face.

Just try it.

This feels weird

2009-04-15T10:22:00.003-04:00

I have an interview with Knoxnews.com this next week.

It's for my practicum this summer.

I really hope I don't BOMB this little diddy!

Samantha Sutton

2009-04-08T20:38:00.002-04:00

I do not yet have my very own website that I can keep track of my work online, so blogger will have to suffice for now.
This is basically only what I've done in JEM 222, because, well, that's basically all the online stuff I have done.
I really wish I would've taken this class sooner. I really enjoy it and all aspects of online journalism.
But anyway, I'm looking to grow as a writer and photographer and someday make something of myself.

Here's my work:

Very first blog post for 222: ICONN Conference

First Review for class blog: Sassy Ann's

First Interview for TNJN: Sheila - not very awesome...

Photo slide show: Storm - one of my favorites

Very first taste of video: Spring Break - also not very awesome

Voice Over Assignment: Ben and Jerry's

Weather-Related Assignment: UT Gardens

This is the extent of my online work thus far. Hoorah! I would LOVE more experience though.
Thanks!
-Samantha

Flip-Flops or Fuzzy Boots?

2009-04-07T11:28:00.004-04:00

Vines on a bridge at UT Gardens

Make up your mind, Knoxville!

Let me re-cap the weather for you all:
Sunday - Partly sunny, high of 79
Monday - Rainy, high of 66
Today - Cloudy with snow showers, highs around 43

What is THAT? I go from sweating in a tee shirt and shorts to dodging gigantic snow flakes.
It's all so disorienting...

So, I did not do the pollen story like I had thought. Instead I decided to do a bit on the crazy weather and how it has affected UT Gardens and what they do to prepare for such winter advisories.

It's due by 3:25 pm today. And my expert source, Dr. Susan Hamilton, the Gardens Director, has not replied to my questions yet.

I have a few awesome pictures from when I visited the gardens on Sunday though.

Thought I'd share just a few.

I'll post my story when I get it completed.

This one is a bit blurry, but I still like the composition of it.

It's a beautiful day

2009-04-02T12:13:00.001-04:00

It feels amazing outside. I have no idea the current temperature, but it was hot enough for me to regret wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and a sweater.
But, before leaving my room (dressed like it was snowing) for class I decided I would grab my camera and take a few pictures if I could find anything worth shooting.
I ended up taking a few pictures of blooming flowers - my favorite aspect of Spring.
And I think I have an idea now for an assignment in my online journalism class.
The assignment is a weather-related. We can compose a story with multimedia involving the weather in some sort of fashion. And while taking pictures of flowers I thought why not do a story on ... *drumroll please* POLLEN! hahaha.
How very original right? It's just hard to come up with a story surrounding weather out of thin air (no pun intended). Or maybe I can do a "getting ready for summer" story. Include the school pool being cleaned, girls hittin the tanning beds like the sun is about to implode, ppl working on their beach bods...that'd be hilarious.
Anyway...it's due this upcoming Tuesday. Arg.
Anyway. Here's a few of the pictures I took this morning. They aren't fantastic or anything.

My roommates are cramming.

2009-03-10T01:04:00.002-04:00

And I'm sitting here at my computer. I do believe I have been sitting here almost a good two hours.
That's almost pathetic. I should most definitely turn this thing off and pick up a book and pass out!
But no, my life is electronic for the most part. I live in a digital world.
OR
You can just say I'm a bum with no imagination or creativity?

It's nearly spring break and like I said, my roommates are studying hard in the living room right now. I have nothing to do! I have a research abstract that is due Friday, but I'm not really worried about that JUST yet. I also have a broadcast writing mid-term on Wednesday, but there is really no preparation for that. I have to write some news stories and then put them in order that I would want them for my newscast. And I also have a video assignment for my online class due on thursday...none of this I am worried about.

I have my eyes set on Daytona Beach. I need some beach in my life right about now. Nothing seems to make all your worries disappear better than a warm beach. I am beyond excited. And I am going with some of my favorite people in the world. It's going to be perfect...although the weather DOES say it is supposed to rain the day we get there.

I'm sorry I haven't had any really awesome pictures to put up lately. I need a camera case so I can safely carry my camera everywhere. I'm just so scared I'll ruin it in some way. Maybe I'll take it around tomorrow. I really need more pictures...well not more pictures...more artistic pictures.

Oh! AND how could I EVER forget! This past Thursday, I got to see Britney Spears in concert thanks to the coolest Mom EVER! Yes, I got to see Miss Spears herself, the Queen of Pop, the Mistress of Mayhem, the Ringmaster of the Freakshow! It was seriously awesome. I'm rooting for her return to the scene. I love her newest album and I think she's doing a great job getting her life back together. She definitely puts on quite a show that's worth seeing. I really wish she danced more like she used to. But, hey, she's changed her style a bit and it's nothing short of sexy....despite the terrible boobie tassle outfit.

One Year Anniversary

2009-02-23T11:42:00.004-05:00

So never in my life did I ever imagine I, Samantha Sutton, would be having a one year anniversary. It's so weird. Much like the word weird...it does not follow common rules of spelling. Silly word.

Our anniversary was on February 20th. The bf and I went out to the restaurant where we had our first date. It's a small vegetarian-friendly pizza place called Tomato Head. They have really awesome food. I had a sandwich that had tofu in it...and I LIKED it. 'Nuff said. It's also great for dates :)

We exchanged our gifts.
His was better than mine...
He got me a white-gold necklace. It's so delicate and shiny! He got it for the rings I wear around my neck. One is his ring that he used to wear all the time (until i stole it) and another is a ring he bought me...from a 25 cent machine at the bowling alley. I love it though. It fits perfectly inside his ring.

Then I gave him his gift. Six Flags tickets! Well, not exactly the tickets. I made some replacement tickets until I actually purchase the real ones. But they were cleverly constructed if I may say so myself. My stick people drawings were dead on. But I got those because we'd been saying we want to go to an amusement park together for the longest. He's never been to Six Flags over Georgia and I love it, so we should have loads of fun. Definitely waiting for warmer weather though.

I'm currently online looking at recipes for inexpensive dinner ideas. I want to cook a meal for David and I this week. I haven't COOKED a meal in a while. My cooking is as extensive as macaroni and cheese. Woo. I really want to make my Daddy's lasagna. I'll have to ask how to make it. It's soooooo good.

Anyway, I'm sorry I don't have anymore info on my career goals and stuff right now. I'm just sort of going through the motions. I have lots to think about...

Including Spring Break. Three Weeks. COME ON!

I don't wanna go to woooorrrrkkkk!

2009-02-17T17:12:00.002-05:00

I have 30 minutes to chill until work.
So I'm sitting here at my computer with my cup of coffee.
Work sucks.
Never work in food service for four years if you aren't planning on making that your career goal.
It's painful.

So in my online journalism class we're about to start working with video. I have never worked with video in any journalistic sense. My teacher really liked my photo essay and said if I can keep the same ideas going I could do really well in video. I'm really excited to see how I do. I have to interview, do voice-overs, and get random (hopefully artistically done) shots of the event.

I really think visual journalism is where I am supposed to be. It's what I enjoy the most and what I'm actually decent at doing. So give it up for my future life in poverty!

Jokes.

Kind of :)

Anyway I really just want to turn on the boob tube for some good ole King of Queens. Best. Show. Ever.

So ... bye!

UT campus after the storm

2009-02-12T09:08:00.002-05:00

Hey guys! So last night I worked relentlessly...tirelessly...determined..lly...on a photo essay that was due today in my online journalism class.

Yesterday I started freaking out because I completely forgot that I needed a sequence of 10-13 images by class today. There was a big fast-moving storm rolling in at the time. It was really exciting.

I was sitting in the room ALL DAY up to this point.

So I took this as a great photo opportunity and after the worst part of the storm was over, I braved the outside conditions and started taking some pictures.

I was afraid for my camera most of the time, but...it's all in the name of JOURNALISM!

I wanted to show you guys my photo essay because I'm actually pretty proud of it.
So please check it out here

Updates

2009-02-09T23:34:00.002-05:00

Okay so the radio station is sort of fun. Sort of.
I have been a DJ there before and I really enjoyed that. I was so nervous at first just being on air...it's quite intimidating.
I mean...I'm sure there wasn't a SINGLE person up at 7 a.m. to hear my vocal skills, but it doesn't matter! I did it!

But the news is a bit different.
I have to look at news ideas online then write them for broadcast. Then occasionally the news director will have us go out and get sound bites.
THAT is what's scary.
The one sound bite I've had to get so far was on the economic stimulus package passing in the House. Oh my. My. My.
I mean I really didn't know that much about it. And I had to ask others about how they felt about it. No one really knew anything...or enough to make a sound bite. Plus it was class time so no one was around. It was hard. And it's definitely not an easy task just walking up to people asking them to talk. They're always like "Oh, I don't have time" or "I don't know anything about that." I felt dumb.
Interviewing is not my thing I don't think.

Also, last time I got to record a wrap. I seriously sound like a chick you'd hear if you dialed a certain 1-800 number. I hurried home to make my roommates listen to my first-ever radio news wrap. We laughed.
They, of course, said it was good. It was not.
But I have at least 3 or 4 more times to attempt to sound more professional.
Which I really want to do.

On a completely different level of my life at the moment, tomorrow one of my best friends, Amanda turns 21...FINALLY! Actually she JUST turned 21...like JUST now.
Jessica and I turned the legal drinking age about a year ago. So we've been waiting a good while.
Amanda just took a shot of orange tequila...after she already brushed her teeth. What a trooper.

Well, I need to get off this computer...and by get off the computer I mean post this entry and then find spring break deals.

Later.

Radio News

2009-01-29T01:06:00.004-05:00

Hello All.

Tomorrow I begin my work at 90.3 The Rock, our campus radio station, gathering news stories and sound bites.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I still need to get working on taking pictures for The Daily Beacon or the school's news site TNJN.

And I need to shadow some people in the industry.

I really need to start getting myself out there to really find my niche in this industry.

ONE DAY!!! ONE DAY I WILL SETTLE!!!

Kbye.

FDA approves stem cell research

2009-01-23T10:58:00.004-05:00

I was watching the news this morning and saw that only three days after President Obama became president, the FDA gave the green light for the first embryonic stem cell clinical trials in humans.

I personally think it is a huge milestone in medical history and I am for it. Yes, the embryo is destroyed once used, but it is saving another life. Some people see this as playing God, and thus unethical, but...I can't agree.

What if something happened to someone you love? Would you change your mind?

The clinical tests are scheduled to start this summer.

More about this here

I Apologize

2009-01-14T13:55:00.002-05:00

I learned yesterday that blog entries are generally supposed to be short.
People's attention spans do not hold long enough to read long drawn out entries.
NOT EVEN TOTALLY AWESOME THRILLING TALES SUCH AS MY OWN!
So I'm just here to say "I'm sorry."
How's that?
Short enough for you?
Could you read the whole thing through?
Good I'm glad.
:)
I have to nap now.

I'm Supposed To Be Writing An Autobiography...

2009-01-13T00:41:00.005-05:00

BUT I'd rather post a random blog with like two pictures.

HOORAY procrastination!

And I love how I'm procrastinating the most simple of assignments already. I am such a WINNER!

This is my cat Bonnie. I could not find a smart way to smuggle her into my dorm so she waits patiently at home for me. I miss her. Even though she's rather mean and sometimes annoying. That's why we get along so well.

This is me pretending to be candid. What am I smiling about and what am I looking at? The ceiling. Yes. I make that ceiling appear to be quite the charmer - holds my attention and gaze with such ease. Am I weirding you all out yet? I bet you feel sorry for my friends right now don't you?

Well you should. And I should be getting to that autobiography. My thrilling tale awaits to be introduced to pen and paper... and by that I totally mean I'm typing it up and probably emailing it. SAVE THE TREES MAN!

Goodnight

Strive For The Minimum

2009-01-12T08:57:00.002-05:00

Well, my original plan to try and finish all of my courses I needed this semester and NOT have to attend summer classes has been successfully THWARTED by UT and budget cuts and strict teachers that don't believe in CO-requisites.

Yes indeed. I sure got bumped out of my 333 editing class. I tried to take it as a co-requisite with 315 reporting. No way. That teacher could not have been more strict about who is allowed in that class. BUT I'M A SENIOR! That does not carry any weight these days. Not with the budget cuts. The communications department seems to have been hit hard. The number of classes has dwindled dramatically. It is hard for any communications student to get all the classes they need - senior or not! And I read in the school newspaper that there is to be yet another cut. I wonder if UT will accept fewer students this next term. Probably not. The students provide money...despite the fact that they are paying big bucks for a schedule they cannot fill with classes they actually need. Guess they'll have to jump on my little bandwagon and pay extra to take summer classes...it's all a gigantic scheme to make more money...I just know it.

So with that, I am taking a whole 12 hours again. I think I'm actually going to enjoy these classes though. They seem involved and they are the classes that will actually come in handy in the job market. One especially is online journalism 222. We get to write our own stories, shoot the video, take the pictures, do voice overs, and post them online! All of that! It's like we're working for the knoxnews.com. Which I think will be increadibly beneficial - especially the video. Photojournalists are often required to know how to use video equipment as well and know how to edit and all that. With this class I can learn how to! So I am stoked.

I've also decided to put off my practicum for the summer. I'm going to be here anyway taking 333. Might as well do my practicum when there are fewer students to compete with and when I have more time.

On a completely different level, I'm reading Twilight. Oh yes. I have successfully fallen into the crowd of vampire-loving, pale-faced wannabies that are obsessed with this book series. And I am fastly becoming one of them. I am only on chapter 8 or 9 of the first book, but I have to say that I am quite hooked. I've been intrigued by vampires for some time - probably ever since I saw Interview with a Vampire (oooooh Brad Pitt....). And now Edward Cullen is making me (and many pre-pubescent girls as well as college students...and probably soccer moms...and librarians...and...) have that longing for an impossibly gorgeous vampire to bite me. I hate when books are so good that when you put it down to get back to your reality, you have to sigh with a sort of displeasure. And you realize your life sort of...sucks.

Well I have one more cup of coffee to down and I must be off to class. I am extremely tired seeing as I stayed up to read Twilight and then could not fall asleep til about 3 am. And my skin is gross shade of pale and yellow thanks to the ugly winter season. My dark circles are growing more prominant. I'm starting to resemble my little blood-sucking friends. ... yes! The transformation will soon be COMPLETE!

The Boys Are Back in Town...

2009-01-05T02:08:00.002-05:00

Well...at least I am!
I just rolled into Knoxville at like 11pm after driving through some nastastic (ooooo, you like that?) fog and the dangerous winding curves of the mountains. Good thing David was with me navigating and telling me to slow my roll on the road. I probably would've died without his company.

So guess what?! Santa sooooooo delivered this year! I got the Canon Rebel xsi! Yeah I could hardly believe it! Needless to say, for the remainder of Christmas day I was quite anti-social. I was fiddling with the camera trying to figure out what it had and what all I could make magic with! I would find a subject and shoot about 20 different pictures just trying different exposures. I'm still learning how to use it, but I love to! It is something I am willing to learn!

Oh man, speaking of photography and learning (COMBINED TO MAKE AN EPIC CONCOCSION THAT IS SOON TO BE MY CAREEERRRRRRR) I have to get going on my practicum. I know my concentration is magazine, but I really want to have a job as a photographer. I need to email knoxnews.com and maybe the metropulse. I would love even more if I could KEEP a job there! That way I can stay here while David finishes school.

Oh this semester is going to be no fun. No sir. No ma'am.

I'm basically taking a lot of courses that I was supposed to have taken back in like my sophomore year, but have thus far successfully eluded. However, it's about graduation time and I guess I better take them. It's a lot of reporting classes and editing and random journalism electives. If I didn't have to take all these classes I would've signed up for the advanced photojournalism course. But naturally, it's full.

And as of now, I'm probably going to have to finish school in the summer. Probably take one or two classes that I couldn't fit in (oh pre requisites...you have screwed me big time).

But hey, what's $1,000 more right???

Well, it's about 2:30 am. And I wonder why I get up at 1 pm and have to use a bottle of concealer a day for my dark circles! Oh...to be a night creature.

Goodnight ;)

My Bum Hurts From Trying To Figure Out My Life!

2008-12-20T00:40:00.003-05:00

Yes indeed. For the past few days I've been researching my life. Sitting here at this computer on this hard chair.
Racking my brain and bruising my butt.

It all started with a call from my Daddy. He started talking about my future and what I'm going to do with it. He was making suggestions and things.
I started thinking and my oh my the anxiety attack was coming on strong!

I have ONE semester left! ONE!

I got to thinking about what I like to do and what courses I've actually enjoyed and it came to me.

Photojournalism?

I mean the pay is poop but I don't think that should matter in the end.
I love to take pictures. I always take the most in my group of friends.
And I don't just take pictures. I try to make them asthetically pleasing (most of the time...haha). I'll just whipp out my camera at times and just try to play with it and make artsy looking photos.

And I think to take pictures of people and activities for the masses to see and experience would be awesome! I could be so involved with my community! This is something I've wanted to do but just never did it!

And I could travel! There are plenty of opportunities for photojournalists to go EVERYWHERE!
I want to take beautiful pictures of ... life, I guess.

I would have lots of gorgeous photos of my family over the fireplace that's for sure.

So guess what I'm asking for for Christmas/My Birthday? A digital SLR! WOOT! Right now I have a point and shoot canon, but if I want to get serious I need bigger and better tools.

In this transition period I wanted to get an Intro DSLR. I've narrowed it down to the Canon Rebel Xsi and the Sony alpha 300.

The Canon is $100 more but it was consistently on the top digital slr lists for it's class. It apparently gets amazing picture quality.

The Sony is neat because it has a live view feature (no blacking out when you take a picture) and an adjustable lcd. So I can just throw my camera over heads or gates and actually know what I'm taking a picture of! Neat!

I thing either camera would be an awesome new step up from my point and shoot. I'm actually excited to learn about things in this field.

I'll keep you guys posted on this for SURE!

K...my butt is very angry. I must go.

AHHHH

2008-12-09T02:16:00.002-05:00

I'M STUDYING
STUDYING!
SHHHHH!
I'M STUDYING!
Or at least I'm trying. Only two more exams. Two more days.
Then it can officially be Christmas time in my mind.
I cannot wait for rest.
Ahhhh.
BUT FOR NOW -
I MUST STUDY!

Ethics Paper What???

2008-12-04T02:28:00.003-05:00

Hello again.
This is me.
This is me procrastinating writing a 5 page paper ( I know - gargantuan right?) for my media law and ethics class.
Boo on IT!
I cannot stand doing these papers I care nothing about.
And of course I make it worse for myself by putting it off until just about the minute it is due.
BUT IT'S SO MUCH WOOOOOOORRRRKKKKK.
It's exam time in Tennessee. And it's awesome.
Try going to the library around 7pm during these two weeks.
Good Luck m'friend....
Our library is huge...and nearly every carrel is taken and there are no computers.
Everyone is jacked up on caffeine and TALKING LOUDLY ABOUT THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
I was about to get medieval on that girl's fanny.
And there was another girl that COULD NOT HAVE EATEN HER CHEETOS ANY LOUDER!
I had to get out of there to .... do .... this apparently.
I am such a slacker.
Anywho. I should really start this thing. It's due in less than 42 hours!
WOE IS I! ... to be correct.
See you on the other side.

Will I Marry Kokoum?!

2008-11-24T19:15:00.004-05:00

So I spent hours the past two days searching for what I wanted to be when I 'grow up.'
And I still cannot tell you.
I'm pretty sure I want to be a flight attendant right out of college.
Yeah. I know. Crazy right?
A flight attendant.
You have to deal with so much stuff - the variety of people, the dangers, and the whole day-to-day action that goes on...you never know when you're going to be asked to take a flight.
But the traveling is what I want.
I am not tied down at the moment. I have a boyfriend, yes. But I don't have a house or children or anything like that. It seems like the only plausible time to take this opportunity...in my case.
But I love flying and I love change. I could interact with different people everyday and make their plane trips just as awesome as mine are. And I really love going to new places.
I realize I'd be mostly traveling within the US, but it is SOMETHING!

But then I thought...what am I going to do after that?!

Oh how strange my life is going to be.

I think I'll get my associates degree in nursing and be a RN. They're in demand wherever you go and the pay is better than most journalism jobs I'd be doing! But the schooling...and the money for school...and CHEMISTRY...ick. I'd have to REALLY not have anything else to do. ...however I do LOVE to be in hospitals. True Story. The chemical smells and the scrubs and the atmosphere of good being done (I know what I'm trying to say okay?). I would feel needed there. And I think I could EXCEL at that.

But then just today I was looking through journalismjobs.com at possible future jobs and whatnot and the jobs did not seem that bad. I just really do not want to be a reporter... just the thought of that depresses me for some reason. I'm definately more introverted and I would need to do something along the lines of copy editing or graphic design or photography...which I do love. I don't know why I do not spend more time on the things that I am interested in (besides my friends and David). If I saved to get an awesome Nikon camera, I could go to town.
In fact...I'm going to ask for one for Christmas.

But see this? I'm 21 - getting dangerously close to 22, and I still have no idea what direction my life is going. It's scary and needless to say it occasionally keeps me up at night.

Too bad I only have one semester left....

Let There Be SNOW

2008-11-16T13:14:00.010-05:00

So apparently it flurried last night...and I, of course, missed it.
Even though snow is one of the simple things in life that just put an instant grin on my goofy face.
But no.
I was inside my dorm livingroom, flipping through tv, playing on facebook - alone.
OH what a sad sight to see.
I really do wish I could've seen it.
But anywho, I went to Greeneville, TN this weekend with David and it was awesome.
It seriously felt like it was Thanksgiving. There was food everywhwere, family everywhere, and the trees were gorgeous!

This is the view from the back deck.
Look at the gorgeous colors!

And the clouds added awesome contrast.
I love the combination of dark background an sunlit trees.
Creates amazing pictures.

So I was happy I did get THAT this weekend. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside :)
Can't wait for THANKSGIVING!!!

Must Be Love

2008-11-12T22:07:00.000-05:00

So. I had a dream last night. They seem to come far and few between because, well, I don't sleep.
Anywho. Let me expound on my flight of fantasy.

Well my boyfriend David and I were in a house being obnoxiously adorable as usual and just having a cute ole time. We decided to step outside.

Enter CHAOS
It was the battle to end all battles.

Just pass the threshold of the door was this epic battle that we all knew was coming. We just didn't know when. The human race against...the "others."
I do not quite remember what the "others" were but I believe they were machines or they just had amazing machines...of the killing sort.
But it was us against them and we basically had nothing.
Horror struck us.
And the realization that we were all going to die (depressing right?!). The sight was horrendous.
I do not remember exactly what happened next but I later found myself without David or anyone I knew.
There was practically no where to hide from the machines and madness. Just people dying everywhere.
I came to a house that was nearly completely destroyed where I would try to hide. And I do believe I saw a sibling there. But I do not remember where they went or what happened to them.
I was just so scared hiding in the rubble.
Then all of the sudden it was over.
It was completely silent.
Everything was destroyed and it appeared that there was not a single soul left anywhere.
I had survived.
Alone.
Everyone I loved was gone.
I began walking...where?! Don't know.
But amazingly I came upon people! Some of my brothers and sisters were there and other survivors! I was excited.
But then I became overwhelmed with sadness and fear.
David was not in sight. I was frantic and I started running down the street (which seemed to be the only scenery...just the street and rubble....and then black).
But I was running calling out for David.
Then I heard people calling my name behind me.
I turned around and the crowd of survivors were running after me and in front and center was DAVID!
Oh god the relief and happiness that came over me....
I ran to him and hugged and kissed him all the while sobbing my eyes out.
He was completely clean though. He was wearing a bright outfit that I believe was basketball clothes (looked like some High School Musical crap)...
But I awoke after that. And the dream seemed so incredibly long.
I thought about it and I was like "Yep. That must be love."
And then David really came home to me and I told him all about it :)
I love Love. That is all.

Today I Feel Important

2008-11-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

This is big news!
I was able to participate in the 2008 Presidential Election! And it felt awesome.
At first I was like, "oh...yay. I'm going to basically put a random checkmark by my vote and that'll be that"
But as it came time for me to actually go to my polling place, I felt a surge of duty and significance.
I can be a part of something really BIG!
And so I began to walk with more haste (and perhaps a little more swagger).
I got in line and began to look at all the students there. They were just like me.
On a daily basis, I feel super young and basically insignigicant. But today I was able to step back and see myself amongst the other students...see myself as an adult making an important decision that could change our nation (for better or for worse).
And I know this will sound beyond cheesey, but at that moment, I seriously cracked a smile.
I was proud of myself and everyone voting around me.
I don't care who they voted for or why, but the fact that they voted matters.
So today was momentous and I thought I'd share how I felt.
Now I'm going to nap because I have to work tonight.
And I'm going to stay up all night to study for an exam and watch election coverage.
Until next time....

The confusion that is daylight savings...

2008-11-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

So...I arose today utterly depressed at what I thought was 12:30pm.
my phone told me otherwise.
I actually had NOT gotten up at that perfect moment-that horrible, perfect moment when one realizes they had missed the ENTIRE morning!
I had a WHOLE thirty mins left of glorious morning time to figure out what I'm going to do with my day and what AWESOMENESS was going to ensue.
You know what I did?
I checked facebook. Watched television (I couldn't even tell you what I watched!...). Ate old chik-fil-a (and WONDERFUL mac-n-cheese made by my boyfriend).
After that I felt pooey. Straight up pooey.
And I went to bed.
And I stayed there.
until 6pm.
not really sleeping...not really being awake.
just. There.
....
how increadibly depressing. I got up feeling like I SERIOUSLY have NO purpose!
I felt lost and useless.
And that's the worst feeling sometimes.
So I went to the gym...but couldn't stay long because my chest felt like it was suffocating my lungs.
And I went tanning. That did perk me up a bit. Must be all that vitamin c...or whatever essential vitamin you get from tanning (good enough reason for ME to fry my skin and look 40 at 25!).
And I felt this was THE perfect day to start my blog off with a BANG!
haha.
and now it is 9:43pm.
and I am once again at a complete loss of what to do.
I could start my homework that's due in like 2 weeks.
BUT how very uncharacteristic of me! I prefer to wait until the 2 HOUR mark!
So I'll go join my roommate in awesome mind numbing boob tube-age.
Hope everyone else had a far more eventful day than I.
Until next time,
Samantha