Life is NOW

So I'm currently reading Eat,Pray,Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I am realizing you can't live your life in regret or guilt...you just can't.
You only get one chance at this thing. And I'm so scared that I'll be 60 and I'll come to the realization that I didn't do everything I wanted to because of certain circumstances.
I'm 23 now. I know to some people that's young, but to ME it's almost a quarter of a century OLD! Nearly a third of my life is OVER! .... I know, I know, how MORBID of me...but sometimes that's how I think.
And I believe that the only way for me to stop thinking like this is start really living my life...
But, of course, there's a difference in TYPING and DOING!
Just Do It. Nike had it right the first time :)

Air Force Musings

I have completely forgotten about my little ole bloggeroo here! I stumbled upon it when I was adding new quotes to my Facebook. If only I could enter a blog as much as I got on "the face" I'd have a novel or two by now!

Anyway, I'm seriously thinking about joining the air force. I need direction and leadership skills ... oh and the sheer excitement from learning something new and GOING somewhere new! Everytime I think about it I start dreaming of the life I could have - how much better it would be.

Right now at work I am being considered for a supervisor position over one of the cafeterias. I could get a whole DOLLA raise! You would think someone presented with such an opportunity would be excited, but I'm not. I will take the job, of course. It's more money. However, it's just reeling me further and further into the food service world. I'm so tired of it. It's the same stuff every single day.

I am not the type of person who can do this for the rest of my life. I need to constantly be learning something or I feel like I'm wasting away.

And the air force would be the perfect choice. There are so many benefits and opportunities that come with joining.

All I need to do is finish my last credit for school and I'm DONE! I can leave Knoxville and start somewhere fresh! AND make 3x the money I'm making now.

I just wouldn't know what to do with it! Ha. Who am I kidding...yes I would.

Vitamin D

You never realize how you've taken beautiful fall days for granted in the past until you are locked inside at work for 8 hours-only seeing the light of day for a whole thirty minutes.

I miss my favorite season.

It's on.

In a sad attempt to have something cool and exciting brought to my banal life, I have entered every Travel Channel sweepstakes I could.

One would give me the opportunity to travel to Germany. This would make my life if I won this trip. I've entered the competition everyday for three days so far. I'm so pathetic, yet optimistic.

Next, I entered a chance to have a buddy and myself travel to Washington D.C. for a couple of days and attend the Travel Channel academy. It's a super expensive four-day lesson on techniques for video and editing as a travel journalist - only THE best job anyone could ever have. To pay for the trip alone it would cost a couple thousand, but I could attend FO FREE!

There was another sweepstakes, but I don't think I have the time, money or energy to deck my apartment out in the craziest, flashiest Christmas lights...as MUCH as David and I ADORE the season...

Btw, we've already started listening to Christmas music. It's amazing.

Oh, this is sad

I worked today in greasy chicken lair for 8 hours.

I went to class for an hour.

I came home and I cleaned my car.

I cleaned my car with a Halloween bucket and a dirty dish rag in the parking lot of our apartment.

And the pathetic thing was - the act of hand-washing my car was the most exciting thing that happened to me all day.

I was genuinely very happy I did that today.

What has my life become?

Cruel World

Last week I FINALLY made it to a temp agency.
My poor Daddy has been telling me to do this for months.
They set me up immediately with a call center interview.
It was some mass hiring event and they needed a lot of new people and I would've started the following week!
Well, I go to the interview and I pretty much bomb it. I was so nervous.
It was one of those interviews where they ask you to dig back into the crevices of your work memory and try to dig out instances when you were faced with an ethical dilemma. Or, explain a time when you were proud of your work and maybe a time when you weren't so proud. If there was something you needed to tell me...how would you make sure I know what you are really trying to say?
Oh goodness.
Well, as usual, I get all teary-eyed...I don't know why...it happens everytime. My voice was cracking all over the place (and let me remind you this is a call center I was applying to - phone voices are a MUST).
I get back home and a few hours later I get a call from the temp lady saying I got the job and I need to go in for fingerprinting the following day.
I was so happy! Finally! A job out of the food industry! My own cubicle! I can wear nice clothes! I get PAID more!
Just as my ecstasy was at it's peak and I had already called home to tell my family I'm finally doing something, temp lady calls back.
She made a mistake.
She read the rating sheet incorrectly and I actually did NOT get the job.
Great.
What a cruel, cruel world.
Back to square one.
I need to leave Knoxville.
I'm going insane.

It's like one of those Infinity pools...

I feel like I'm just swimming and swimming.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Same thing over and over, but getting nowhere.
I feel like I'm in a rut.
And I can't get out.
It's really quite depressing.
And I know how I could reach the end of the pool.
I need a different job - first of all.
Then, I need to start going after what I really want to do.
And I need to really hone in on what that is.
I need a life coach.
That'd be perfect right now.
That's all.