Life is NOW

So I'm currently reading Eat,Pray,Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I am realizing you can't live your life in regret or guilt...you just can't.
You only get one chance at this thing. And I'm so scared that I'll be 60 and I'll come to the realization that I didn't do everything I wanted to because of certain circumstances.
I'm 23 now. I know to some people that's young, but to ME it's almost a quarter of a century OLD! Nearly a third of my life is OVER! .... I know, I know, how MORBID of me...but sometimes that's how I think.
And I believe that the only way for me to stop thinking like this is start really living my life...
But, of course, there's a difference in TYPING and DOING!
Just Do It. Nike had it right the first time :)

Air Force Musings

I have completely forgotten about my little ole bloggeroo here! I stumbled upon it when I was adding new quotes to my Facebook. If only I could enter a blog as much as I got on "the face" I'd have a novel or two by now!

Anyway, I'm seriously thinking about joining the air force. I need direction and leadership skills ... oh and the sheer excitement from learning something new and GOING somewhere new! Everytime I think about it I start dreaming of the life I could have - how much better it would be.

Right now at work I am being considered for a supervisor position over one of the cafeterias. I could get a whole DOLLA raise! You would think someone presented with such an opportunity would be excited, but I'm not. I will take the job, of course. It's more money. However, it's just reeling me further and further into the food service world. I'm so tired of it. It's the same stuff every single day.

I am not the type of person who can do this for the rest of my life. I need to constantly be learning something or I feel like I'm wasting away.

And the air force would be the perfect choice. There are so many benefits and opportunities that come with joining.

All I need to do is finish my last credit for school and I'm DONE! I can leave Knoxville and start somewhere fresh! AND make 3x the money I'm making now.

I just wouldn't know what to do with it! Ha. Who am I kidding...yes I would.

Vitamin D

You never realize how you've taken beautiful fall days for granted in the past until you are locked inside at work for 8 hours-only seeing the light of day for a whole thirty minutes.

I miss my favorite season.

It's on.

In a sad attempt to have something cool and exciting brought to my banal life, I have entered every Travel Channel sweepstakes I could.

One would give me the opportunity to travel to Germany. This would make my life if I won this trip. I've entered the competition everyday for three days so far. I'm so pathetic, yet optimistic.

Next, I entered a chance to have a buddy and myself travel to Washington D.C. for a couple of days and attend the Travel Channel academy. It's a super expensive four-day lesson on techniques for video and editing as a travel journalist - only THE best job anyone could ever have. To pay for the trip alone it would cost a couple thousand, but I could attend FO FREE!

There was another sweepstakes, but I don't think I have the time, money or energy to deck my apartment out in the craziest, flashiest Christmas lights...as MUCH as David and I ADORE the season...

Btw, we've already started listening to Christmas music. It's amazing.

Oh, this is sad

I worked today in greasy chicken lair for 8 hours.

I went to class for an hour.

I came home and I cleaned my car.

I cleaned my car with a Halloween bucket and a dirty dish rag in the parking lot of our apartment.

And the pathetic thing was - the act of hand-washing my car was the most exciting thing that happened to me all day.

I was genuinely very happy I did that today.

What has my life become?

Cruel World

Last week I FINALLY made it to a temp agency.
My poor Daddy has been telling me to do this for months.
They set me up immediately with a call center interview.
It was some mass hiring event and they needed a lot of new people and I would've started the following week!
Well, I go to the interview and I pretty much bomb it. I was so nervous.
It was one of those interviews where they ask you to dig back into the crevices of your work memory and try to dig out instances when you were faced with an ethical dilemma. Or, explain a time when you were proud of your work and maybe a time when you weren't so proud. If there was something you needed to tell me...how would you make sure I know what you are really trying to say?
Oh goodness.
Well, as usual, I get all teary-eyed...I don't know why...it happens everytime. My voice was cracking all over the place (and let me remind you this is a call center I was applying to - phone voices are a MUST).
I get back home and a few hours later I get a call from the temp lady saying I got the job and I need to go in for fingerprinting the following day.
I was so happy! Finally! A job out of the food industry! My own cubicle! I can wear nice clothes! I get PAID more!
Just as my ecstasy was at it's peak and I had already called home to tell my family I'm finally doing something, temp lady calls back.
She made a mistake.
She read the rating sheet incorrectly and I actually did NOT get the job.
Great.
What a cruel, cruel world.
Back to square one.
I need to leave Knoxville.
I'm going insane.

It's like one of those Infinity pools...

I feel like I'm just swimming and swimming.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Stroke.
Same thing over and over, but getting nowhere.
I feel like I'm in a rut.
And I can't get out.
It's really quite depressing.
And I know how I could reach the end of the pool.
I need a different job - first of all.
Then, I need to start going after what I really want to do.
And I need to really hone in on what that is.
I need a life coach.
That'd be perfect right now.
That's all.

I'm a little more calm now

I would like to apologize for the last entry. I was very frustrated - obviously.

But I spoke with the head of student publications on Monday. I was so scared she would eat me alive and then spit me out and rip my practicum papers to tiny confetti pieces and then sprinkle them on precious cupcakes for my editor to eat.

But, of course, this did not happen.

She was very understanding and amiable about the whole situation. She did stress that I need to get my stories in on time because it puts a strain on the whole team. And I understand that. Like I said, it comes with the job. And she understands that I work about 30 hours a week and sometimes I just can't take certain stories. But after our talk, I felt like I really wanted to prove to The Beacon that I was making improvements and trying to be a decent journalist.

So that is my goal. Hooray. I have a story tomorrow, but there is no calling for sources. I'll be attending an architect exhibition. So I'll just chit chat with some students and possibly faculty. And in efforts to make improvements I want to get the story done that day and turn it in.

I'm also taking a lot of pictures this weekend. Maybe I'll have a few I can post. Sorry for the lack of images. I can't believe I'm trying to do photojournalism and I don't even post pictures with every post.

I'll work all my kinks out eventually. Actually, no. No I probably won't. Because that's how life is. Full of kinks. Well, it definitely keeps things interesting for me.

With my next post I'll tell you all about how I want to go back to school. WHOA. Get excited.

Throw me a life jacket!

I feel like I'm drowning in life.

Again.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was having mild anxiety attacks.

Again.

If I mess up on ONE thing - my mind spirals out of control and I start to dwell on EVERYTHING that's going wrong with my life.

I think I seriously need anxiety medication sometimes.

I got my article done...not on Friday though. I was late. Which is NEVER good in journalism. That's part of the job - meeting deadlines. And I don't know how they do it. I don't. Because I tried to get people to contact me back. It's nearly impossible sometimes!

I hate it.

The publications department is threatening to not give me my practicum credit if I don't make deadline.

Okay FIRST of all, I missed deadline ONCE. And yes, yes. It's part of my job and I HAVE to make deadline, but it was out of my control! Are they seriously implying that they've made every single deadline THEY were given???

SECONDLY, I didn't want to base my practicum credit on being a news reporter. I came in with the intentions of being a photojournalist. And somehow, I got pushed into being practically the ONLY newswriter they have! So now I'm doing both (but more writing than anything). I think I'm earning my keep just fine, thank you. I'm sure some students have earned their credits by simply putting a story or a photo in every issue. I've had BOTH. I've produced more than one thing per issue. I just don't see the justice in them threatening my practicum credit.

I'm angry.

And freaking out about life.

What's new?

Now I must report to the newsroom and be critiqued on my most recent atrocity.

I mean...I'm no Carrie Bradshaw

So, I'm working with the school newspaper, The Daily Beacon, now. It's actually for course credit. Which puts a huge burden on my back to produce something every issue and earn my hours.

I successfully did so for the first three issues - only one of those stories being any close to decent - but then I sort of...stopped. I've skipped the past two issues. No good. The director of student publications will not like that at all. I basically swore up and down that if she let me come on as a senior trying to get the Beacon for my practicum, I would work hard and produce something for every issue.

And I've already fallen off my wagon. Gah. I'm not going to make it anywhere in this world!

I'm currently trying to finish a story for Friday's paper. It's due before noon tomorrow and I still have to get another source. Blarg. Means I'm going to have to ring some folks' ears off in efforts to get a comment or 12.

All I want to do is take pictures, but I'm writing more than anything. Which, I suppose is good - especially now when jobs of ANY sort in journalism are scarce. But I think I've had three pics in the paper. All to go with my stories, WHICH were all the lead stories - "above the fold" if you want to get sassy. But this is only because my article was basically the only news story produced by Beacon staff. Yeah. I am like one of two news writers.

Anywho. What else? No dice (or thongs?) with VS. They strung me along for about two weeks always saying they just needed to contact my references and then they would call me back. I keep in contact with my references, and VS never called. Why could they not just tell me I was not going to get the job? Spencer's did the very same thing to David.

Needless to say, our dreams of fabulous retail life were CRUSHED like Prince's velvet ensambles.

We ate lots of Ramen the following days. This is a lie. It was mac-n-cheese.

Well, I have to get up early tomorrow. I have a GLORIOUSLY long day ahead - one that will hopefully end with me sweating my ass off on the dirty floor of an old victorian house to the beat of Kenny Loggins's "Footloose." Ahhhhh I love some Sassy Ann's.

Sleep Well world.

I am a journalist...I guess.

Well, I know it has been a while, but my life has been a bit crazy recently.
Of course, I graduated May 7th, 2009...well...I WALKED. I have one more class and my practicum this summer and THEN I'm done.
I worked non-stop for the two weeks following my graduation. Making the HUGE mistake of not searching for another job while working. Because now I am out of work and looking for a new job in this AWESOME job market. Looks like my best bet so far is Victoria's Secret. Even though it is seriously taking them like 3 weeks to interview and do reference checks and whatnot. In the meantime, no one else is hiring or wanting my work.
Hopefully next week I can start doing something.

But what I'm SUPER excited about is my practicum with The Daily Beacon. The Beacon is UT's student-run newspaper. I am primarily a photojournalist, but it appears that I'll be doing a lot of news writing as well, seeing as they have like NO ONE to do it! So I figured I would step up and get a bit more experience under my stylish belt. I got my very first assignment and I've started working on it already. I even called the two sources just to get the scariest part out of the way. Too bad both failed to answer their phones. Gotta worry about the interviews another day.

Anyway. I'm tired of sitting at this computer. Here's a few pictures:

David's niece looking exceptionally cute playing in a puddle.

Cool shot of Bella. Looks professional, right?

Neat shot I took of my friend, Amanda, after her graduation.

Back to square one

So I didn't get the practicum with Knoxnews. Apparently they thought I was there for a full-blown paid internship and they don't do practicums over the summer. So...

I have to start looking somewhere else. I don't want to! I'm going to end up with some company where my "job" is to get coffee and file papers or something.

I'm not super excited about all aspects of journalism but I'd much rather do SOMETHING than nothing for 120 hours of my life!

Graduation day is in 11 days. Wow. All I know for sure at this moment in my life is that I have an editing class this summer. That's it.

And, of course, I'm having anxiety issues again. Heart rate going through the roof when I think about my future.

I don't know why I stress. I have my WHOLE LIFE to make something of myself. I just feel so behind when I see other go-getter journalism majors getting out there and doing what they love. They are the ones that are going to get hired instantly.

But I don't think that's me. I think that's why I'm not doing what they do. It's not what I want to do - at least not right now.

I'll eventually find MY job. But why get there so fast? Why the rush? I should enjoy life and ALL it has to offer.

I think by doing a variety of odd things and just moving about will provide me with more character. I don't feel like being pinned down right now, I guess. At least, not in the journalism world.

I love photography and I could take pictures all day, but what happens when I push it? When will too much be enough and I start to not appreciate the joys of photography? I don't want to get burned out on it.

Maybe it's some of these things. Maybe it's all of them. And then, maybe I'm just being a lazy 22 year old - and that's why I don't exactly know where I'm going in life.

But either way, I'll find that career.

Stress and anxiety are no fun.

The waving game

Tonight was amazing.

I waved to people and they waved back...well a lot of them did.

See, my roommate Jessica and I decided to take advantage of the wonderful, balmy evening and take a night walk around campus. It was nice strolling around to The Hill side of campus. I haven't been there in about a year. So I figured I needed to revisit the scene - being a senior and all. I'm going to miss it. 

Jessica mentioned how she sometimes sees students hauling ass up a steep grass hill to class....

So we decided to rampage our way through the darkness. First we ran down. Which was good because we got to assess all the holes and impaling-capable objects before running over them. 

We got very tired very quickly. 

A little while later we were on a bridge that crosses Cumberland Ave (for all you folks not from Knoxville - it's a busy street running through campus), and we decided to stop and watch the cars. Then we had the BEST IDEA EVER!

We decided to wave at the cars as they drove under us.

It was the most amazing feeling when random people wave back. You don't know until you try it. But it makes you happy. Seriously. We got so excited when these travelers would take the time and wave. A few even honked their horns. 

We sat there waving at the passing cars for about five minutes. It was so fun. 

So what I'm trying to say is, maybe everyone should just take a little time to wave at strangers - they may not wave back, but if they do - it'll automatically put a smile on your face. 

Just try it.

This feels weird

I have an interview with Knoxnews.com this next week.

It's for my practicum this summer.

I really hope I don't BOMB this little diddy!

Samantha Sutton

I do not yet have my very own website that I can keep track of my work online, so blogger will have to suffice for now.
This is basically only what I've done in JEM 222, because, well, that's basically all the online stuff I have done.
I really wish I would've taken this class sooner. I really enjoy it and all aspects of online journalism.
But anyway, I'm looking to grow as a writer and photographer and someday make something of myself.

Here's my work:

• Very first blog post for 222: ICONN Conference

• First Review for class blog: Sassy Ann's

• First Interview for TNJN: Sheila - not very awesome...

• Photo slide show: Storm - one of my favorites

• Very first taste of video: Spring Break - also not very awesome

• Voice Over Assignment: Ben and Jerry's

• Weather-Related Assignment: UT Gardens

This is the extent of my online work thus far. Hoorah! I would LOVE more experience though.
Thanks!
-Samantha

Flip-Flops or Fuzzy Boots?

Vines on a bridge at UT Gardens

Make up your mind, Knoxville!

Let me re-cap the weather for you all:
Sunday - Partly sunny, high of 79
Monday - Rainy, high of 66
Today - Cloudy with snow showers, highs around 43

What is THAT? I go from sweating in a tee shirt and shorts to dodging gigantic snow flakes.
It's all so disorienting...

So, I did not do the pollen story like I had thought. Instead I decided to do a bit on the crazy weather and how it has affected UT Gardens and what they do to prepare for such winter advisories.

It's due by 3:25 pm today. And my expert source, Dr. Susan Hamilton, the Gardens Director, has not replied to my questions yet.

I have a few awesome pictures from when I visited the gardens on Sunday though.

Thought I'd share just a few.

I'll post my story when I get it completed.

This one is a bit blurry, but I still like the composition of it.

It's a beautiful day

It feels amazing outside. I have no idea the current temperature, but it was hot enough for me to regret wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and a sweater.
But, before leaving my room (dressed like it was snowing) for class I decided I would grab my camera and take a few pictures if I could find anything worth shooting.
I ended up taking a few pictures of blooming flowers - my favorite aspect of Spring.
And I think I have an idea now for an assignment in my online journalism class.
The assignment is a weather-related. We can compose a story with multimedia involving the weather in some sort of fashion. And while taking pictures of flowers I thought why not do a story on ... *drumroll please* POLLEN! hahaha.
How very original right? It's just hard to come up with a story surrounding weather out of thin air (no pun intended). Or maybe I can do a "getting ready for summer" story. Include the school pool being cleaned, girls hittin the tanning beds like the sun is about to implode, ppl working on their beach bods...that'd be hilarious.
Anyway...it's due this upcoming Tuesday. Arg.
Anyway. Here's a few of the pictures I took this morning. They aren't fantastic or anything.

My roommates are cramming.

And I'm sitting here at my computer. I do believe I have been sitting here almost a good two hours.
That's almost pathetic. I should most definitely turn this thing off and pick up a book and pass out!
But no, my life is electronic for the most part. I live in a digital world.
OR
You can just say I'm a bum with no imagination or creativity?

It's nearly spring break and like I said, my roommates are studying hard in the living room right now. I have nothing to do! I have a research abstract that is due Friday, but I'm not really worried about that JUST yet. I also have a broadcast writing mid-term on Wednesday, but there is really no preparation for that. I have to write some news stories and then put them in order that I would want them for my newscast. And I also have a video assignment for my online class due on thursday...none of this I am worried about.

I have my eyes set on Daytona Beach. I need some beach in my life right about now. Nothing seems to make all your worries disappear better than a warm beach. I am beyond excited. And I am going with some of my favorite people in the world. It's going to be perfect...although the weather DOES say it is supposed to rain the day we get there.

I'm sorry I haven't had any really awesome pictures to put up lately. I need a camera case so I can safely carry my camera everywhere. I'm just so scared I'll ruin it in some way. Maybe I'll take it around tomorrow. I really need more pictures...well not more pictures...more artistic pictures.

Oh! AND how could I EVER forget! This past Thursday, I got to see Britney Spears in concert thanks to the coolest Mom EVER! Yes, I got to see Miss Spears herself, the Queen of Pop, the Mistress of Mayhem, the Ringmaster of the Freakshow! It was seriously awesome. I'm rooting for her return to the scene. I love her newest album and I think she's doing a great job getting her life back together. She definitely puts on quite a show that's worth seeing. I really wish she danced more like she used to. But, hey, she's changed her style a bit and it's nothing short of sexy....despite the terrible boobie tassle outfit.

One Year Anniversary

So never in my life did I ever imagine I, Samantha Sutton, would be having a one year anniversary. It's so weird. Much like the word weird...it does not follow common rules of spelling. Silly word.

Our anniversary was on February 20th. The bf and I went out to the restaurant where we had our first date. It's a small vegetarian-friendly pizza place called Tomato Head. They have really awesome food. I had a sandwich that had tofu in it...and I LIKED it. 'Nuff said. It's also great for dates :)

We exchanged our gifts.
His was better than mine...
He got me a white-gold necklace. It's so delicate and shiny! He got it for the rings I wear around my neck. One is his ring that he used to wear all the time (until i stole it) and another is a ring he bought me...from a 25 cent machine at the bowling alley. I love it though. It fits perfectly inside his ring.

Then I gave him his gift. Six Flags tickets! Well, not exactly the tickets. I made some replacement tickets until I actually purchase the real ones. But they were cleverly constructed if I may say so myself. My stick people drawings were dead on. But I got those because we'd been saying we want to go to an amusement park together for the longest. He's never been to Six Flags over Georgia and I love it, so we should have loads of fun. Definitely waiting for warmer weather though.

I'm currently online looking at recipes for inexpensive dinner ideas. I want to cook a meal for David and I this week. I haven't COOKED a meal in a while. My cooking is as extensive as macaroni and cheese. Woo. I really want to make my Daddy's lasagna. I'll have to ask how to make it. It's soooooo good.

Anyway, I'm sorry I don't have anymore info on my career goals and stuff right now. I'm just sort of going through the motions. I have lots to think about...

Including Spring Break. Three Weeks. COME ON!

I don't wanna go to woooorrrrkkkk!

I have 30 minutes to chill until work.
So I'm sitting here at my computer with my cup of coffee.
Work sucks.
Never work in food service for four years if you aren't planning on making that your career goal.
It's painful.

So in my online journalism class we're about to start working with video. I have never worked with video in any journalistic sense. My teacher really liked my photo essay and said if I can keep the same ideas going I could do really well in video. I'm really excited to see how I do. I have to interview, do voice-overs, and get random (hopefully artistically done) shots of the event.

I really think visual journalism is where I am supposed to be. It's what I enjoy the most and what I'm actually decent at doing. So give it up for my future life in poverty!

Jokes.

Kind of :)

Anyway I really just want to turn on the boob tube for some good ole King of Queens. Best. Show. Ever.

So ... bye!